The Nerves Tighten

I'm fairly anxious but largely apprehensive regarding the fast approaching start to my paramedic course. I agonize over the transition from full time employee back to college kid. Will I be able to view class and homework like I do my job? Using intrigue to power me through the course. Or will I falter at the starting line maybe mutle through only to ultimately fail later? Can I really do this? I'm filled with doubt in every direction. It's my nature to be the know-it-all and always strive to find the details no one else cares to know. But looking ahead to the larger pond, I'm scared. Hell, can I even make enough money to keep the lights on?

It seems the difference between role model medics and their less competent counterparts is quite large. I can't help but look at some medics and think, "If they can do it, I certainly can." And with that I continue on. Buying the notebooks, highlighters and pens, I feel like an elementary student getting all his school supplies ready. Should I buy glue sticks or bottles? I need to stop by the college and get my books and a couple of identification badges. Then swing by the uniform store to pick up the required apparel.

So I sit, as prepared as I can be, waiting for the green light and buzzer that signals me to approach the door and take that big leap, free falling, hoping my chute opens and I will eventually land comfortably.

The trip will no doubt be a mixture of scared shit less and pure exhilaration.