Nearly Up To Racing Speed

As I sit down once again at my computer, continuing with all that is anatomy and physiology, medical terms and a presentation of the endocrine system looming in the darkness I can't help but want to take a nap. Almost a month in and my ability to function on little to no sleep is increasing, granted I think I was ahead of the curve. Lately it seems as though my entire existance revolves around this computer. I tote it to school, typing at every chance. Drag it home to type until my face hits the keyboard, signaling bed time.

It's definately an extreme uphill battle, and so far I've faught my way through it. I finally feel as though I can see the big picture that contains all the assignments to be done and all the pages to be read. It took a long time, in relative terms I guess, but I'm getting there. I hope that the up coming tests don't go as badly as I think they might. I fortunately have a little bit if time left to study, it's not quite the time to panic just yet. Well unless you include the general apprehension that is always nipping at my ass. I can do this.

If Only I Had Listened To Everyone

I put the truck into park in the school parking lot. Beside my window a figure stands, I wait for him to pass, but instead to taps on my window. It's a familiar face. The face belongs to man that had been hired on the fire department with me. A classmate if you will. I dismount the vehicle, my hair's done, but otherwise I'm a mess, still tired from the late night of A&P reading. He's dressed in a uniform and looks well rested. "What in the hell are you doing here, run, run while you still can, it's not to late!" he says. He's not quite amazed to see me attending school to become a medic, he is more amazed that anyone would subject themselves to this particular level of torture. "Aw come on, it's not that bad." I fire back with, as we walk inside.

Now I've been taking fire classes for three years straight and it wasn't that long ago that I finished college. It seems like a distant memory now. I've managed to forget just how much work this is. The technical college that I attending was great. The fact that I almost already knew the material was even better. There were hard times and a couple of late nights working on projects, but I don't think I ever had to study. Sure I paged through books for random facts or interesting topics. But it was never material I didn't know something about.

You could knock my of with a feather this time around. It feels as if my head in not correctly fitted to my shoulders, it spinning around as it does. Learning all the medical terminology and anatomy and physiology and this and that and more. Read this and this and this tonight, there's a quiz on this Tuesday and a test of Friday, oh by the way have your papers done for Monday. Have a fun weekend. Christ what weekend. It's not like I get to sleep in or anything. I just don't have to drive to school. I've muttered the phrase, "If so and so can do it, I certainly can." Well I might not have much respect for the knowledge some people have now, but I certainly respect their level of commitment then.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

God this sucks.

On With The Madnes

It's official, I'm a college student once again. Compared to the private tech school I attended previously this community college is a whole new beast. My tech school was modeled in strict accordance with the expectations our future employers would require. Professional attire, impeccable sense of time management, ability to function as a team member and so on. What a wake up call, not that my class is not professional, they come on time and for the most part don't swear as much as I do. But times have changed and kids are different now, a little less respectful of the staff and the rules they've made.

What a week. On top of the workload to become accustom to during the first week of class, I also had to deal with my fire department commitments and still study for an additional state exam. Saturday could not have come quick enough. Right now the class is of course quite basic and boring. The teachers do a good job of making it interesting and inspiring fantastic discussions that attempt to get everyone passionate and involved.

Friday concluded the week with a water rescue review and practical. It was a nice end to the week, "playing" around in a pool, practicing with back boarding and rope bags. The instructor brought in his scuba gear and let us monkey around with it. Which I thought was an absolute blast.

It appears that the coming months will continue to be busy with assignments. I can't wait to get into the topics that make medics medics though.

The Nerves Tighten

I'm fairly anxious but largely apprehensive regarding the fast approaching start to my paramedic course. I agonize over the transition from full time employee back to college kid. Will I be able to view class and homework like I do my job? Using intrigue to power me through the course. Or will I falter at the starting line maybe mutle through only to ultimately fail later? Can I really do this? I'm filled with doubt in every direction. It's my nature to be the know-it-all and always strive to find the details no one else cares to know. But looking ahead to the larger pond, I'm scared. Hell, can I even make enough money to keep the lights on?

It seems the difference between role model medics and their less competent counterparts is quite large. I can't help but look at some medics and think, "If they can do it, I certainly can." And with that I continue on. Buying the notebooks, highlighters and pens, I feel like an elementary student getting all his school supplies ready. Should I buy glue sticks or bottles? I need to stop by the college and get my books and a couple of identification badges. Then swing by the uniform store to pick up the required apparel.

So I sit, as prepared as I can be, waiting for the green light and buzzer that signals me to approach the door and take that big leap, free falling, hoping my chute opens and I will eventually land comfortably.

The trip will no doubt be a mixture of scared shit less and pure exhilaration.